Rêve de Bonheur
by Kawaii Dream
Summary: Sebastian doesn't remember who Ciel Phantomhive is. Ciel wishes Sebastian would remember him, and his heart aches as he watches Sebastian fall in love with someone else. In the end, it's all too late. A romantic tragedy. SebaCiel.
1. Chapter 1

A small boy walked on the hard, stoned pavement of the streets of London. He had been following a certain raven-haired man for some time now. The man had turned and walked into the Undertaker's shop. Ahh, yes. To buy a coffin for his 'young mistress' he thought he was currently 'contracted' to. What a joke. A completely sick and utterly despicable joke. One blue sapphire orb followed the man's movements carefully, wondering if he should talk to him. After all, Sebastian had said so himself. That no matter what, he'd remember him. That he'll love him forever.

That...They'll be contracted and bounded together for all eternity.

But...it had been five years. Five years since Sebastian had awakened and saw him beside him, covered in blood. The raven-haired male was terribly injured; and he only assumed that it was Ciel that did it to him. He had cursed Ciel away from him, to be gone and never return in his sight. For having a lower ranked demon defeat a higher ranked demon was very humiliating.

And now, the boy (demonling) could not do a thing as he watched his loved one from afar. When would Sebastian remember him? It took all his willpower and strength, as well as his strong emotions and feelings toward his former butler to prevent himself from running over to him and crying, embracing the older demon. It had been five years...and Sebastian had fallen for someone else. His 'young mistress' that he had formed a contract with.

Five years since that deal with the death reapers were made; and it seemed like they were winning. But no, Ciel had hope and faith in Sebastian. Sebastian never lied. He promised he'd remember for sure.

_'It's going to be alright, Ciel. No matter what happens, even if we aren't contracted, I promise you on our love that I will remember you. Take on the deal. Then we will both live happily together, for all eternity.'_

The demonling remembered those exact words that had came out of his lover's mouth. The memory was the only thing that kept him believing and hoping that Sebastian would soon remember him. After all...Sebastian never lied.

His sapphire orb landed on the door of the Undertaker's shop being opened, Sebastian walking out with a coffin between his arm. A beautifully crafted coffin, flowered of pure white roses. White roses...those were the flowers that he used to give him. But it was for the 'young mistress'. The one that Sebastian loved dearly, and was running an errand of buying her the most beautiful coffin for her mother's death. Enduring another stab to the heart, he swallowed the choked sobs erupting from his throat and watched as the demon he loved so much walk his way.

_One step._

_Ba-dump. _Ciel's heart began to race as he stared, almost memorized, by those familiar crimson hues. Those sinfully perfect lips. The softness of those jet black raven locks.

_Two steps._

_Another wave of memories washed over him._

_Three steps._

_His head pounded._

_Four steps._

_He couldn't look away from the perfect, muscular figure he had once known so well._

_Five steps._

_Closer._

_Six steps._

_Closer._

_Seven steps._

_Almost there..._

_Eight step-_

"I believe this is the 344th time I caught you following me. Are you that eager to see me die? To kill me?" A mocking sneer fell from those sinful lips. His tone was laced with hate, anger, distaste. He treated the demonling like an enemy. His once crimson orbs were lightly glowing a light violet as they turn into slits.

Ciel shook his head immediately, to stop himself from falling back into his usual trance and to show he really meant no harm. "No, I would never-"

"Yes, you would never kill me. You say that, yet the moment I woke up with you next to my side, your hands colored of red blood - my blood - and the countless times I've caught you following me, watching me from afar, I find it very hard to believe." Sebastian scoffed, placing the coffin down for a moment before continuing. "And also, you claim to know me. Yet I do not know you. There is not one memory I forget, not even one second of a memory. You really must be one great actor, the sadness and pain in your eye looks so real. Those shaky movements of yours, like an easy prey waiting to be hunted. Or, in this case, waiting until the day I believe your madness." The demon continued, unaffected by the tears that were threatening to spill from the younger one. "So let me say this for the 297th time - I do not know you. I do not wish to know you. And I do not ever want to see you ever again. I am quite taken by my young mistress, Paula, and I have no need for useless, lustful demonlings like you. Now scram." Sebastian finished coldly, making a shooing motion with his hand, cueing the slate-haired demon to leave.

Tears cascading down to the pavement, Ciel could only do as he was told. With a small nod of his head and an aching heart, he walked off into one of the dark alleys, disappearing into the darkness of the shadows.

Perhaps his former lover really was a liar.

* * *

"Come now, brat! You should be happy I'm even trying to comfort you! Bassy will not remember you, and time is running out. It's obvious that your 'love' is not strong enough. Or, rather, 'was' not strong enough." Grell laughed with a cheer, only causing Ciel to cringe with every truthful word. "Bassy does not love you - not anymore. He'll never remember. You only have one day left before it's time, kid. Better do everything that you want to do before you leave." The red-headed death reaper smiled, showing his sharp teeth, before walking out (dramatically) of the shinigami dispatch library. Grell obviously had 'comforted' him greatly. "One more day until I see Bassy's suffering~!" The male sang as he skipped down the concrete floor outside before the door shut completely.

Ciel sat in absolute silence as he, a demon, sat in the Shinigami Dispatch Society'a library of cinematic records. How and why he was even allowed in there, it was a long and complicated story.

Sighing heavily, he stood up from the rather comfortable chair and stretched. One more day, just one more day...Will Sebastian remember him in less than 24 hours? Their time limit was five years. It was already five years - but given one last day. He had to make Sebastian remember, he had to at least try. Determined and fueled anew, Ciel used his only power: to create a portal to the human world again.

He would make things right.

* * *

Standing in front of the manor of Lady Paula's, Ciel hesitantly knocked on the huge manor doors. It was raining quite harshly, the wind and rain pelting him, but he didn't mind. He only cared for Sebastian at this point.

The person who opened the door was no other than the head butler of the manor, Sebastian Michaelis. A look of hatred once again was evident on his face and especially in his eyes when he saw the small boy in the rain. "What do you want, you hard-headed, stubborn brat?" Sebastian's agitated tone was not pleasing to Ciel's ears, but he was used to it. Looking up to lock eyes, the young demon stared into crimson hues. "Please...let me explain. I'm begging you...for the last time." His meek voice was barely audible in the storm, but Sebastian had heard it nonetheless.

A scowl appeared on the butler's face as a result, and he narrowed his eyes. "No. I do not want to listen to your nonsense-"

"Please. I'll... I'll leave forever and I'll never cross your sight ever again starting from tomorrow on, if you hear my story. Just please..." Ciel pleaded desperately, his body trembling from the cold and rain. "I'll do anything...please..."

Sebastian looked down at the pitiful boy. With a stern nod, he opened the door completely to let the shivering demon in. "Remember, leave my sight after this. I don't ever want to see you again. Ever." He spat the last word out with rage, making Ciel cringe a bit before nodding and walking into the manor.

Soaking wet, he sat down on the sofa (much to Sebastian's distaste) and caused it to become wet. But it didn't matter. He only had one hour left now. It was now or never.

Sebastian sat down across from him, an emotionless expression on his face as he awaited to be explained to. About what? He wasn't very sure himself.

Taking a huff of air in, he began. "Sebastian...I am Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive. It's been five years since you've awaken with a huge gash in the middle of your chest with me next to your side. I know, it looked like it was I who attempted to kill you, but it was not! Truly, I swear on Satan himself! I know you don't remember me, but I remember you...and I miss you. So much that it hurts. Sebastian, you don't even know how jealous I am when I see you hold your mistress in your arms, cradle her, kiss her...as you did with me in the past..." Ciel trailed off, letting the information sink in slowly.

Still, Sebastian's expression became bored and he simply stared at the other demon. "Is that all?" He asked, pretending to yawn. "Because I could care less about you. My young mistress is the only one for me. The information you are telling me is false. I know of no one named Ciel Phantomhive from the past. If that is all, please leave and never return as you've promised." He stated monotonously, looking to the side to avoid eye contact.

"...And we shared our first kiss at the island of death, when you told me you could not take my soul. That you loved me and could not let me go. My soul was stolen by Alois and soon, his dying wish was to make sure you could not get my soul, but it was to be handed over to...to...the...death reapers. I was about to get killed by them, Sebastian! They were going to take my soul! Then you made a deal-!" Tears streamed down his cold, pale cheeks, falling onto his trembling hands. Ciel had broken down, sobbing and wailing uncontrollably as he could not tell Sebastian the whole story. The deal that they made prevented him from going any further.

Slowly, the butler speechlessly turned his head back to look over at the crying demon. Soul? Where had he remembered that? Ciel Phantomhive. Soul. But the boy was a demon! How could be have a soul? Ridiculous, really. How easily this was and could be a lie. Or, he was just simply a great actor. He began to clap his hands with a small smirk. "Bravo, bravo. You can act so well, I'd say that you actually meant everything!" The clapping stopped. The smirk disappeared. "But unfortunately, your tricks won't work on me. If you are just going to sit there and sob, then get out. I know you are just playing with my feelings so you can kill me. I have no need to listen to lies, I despise liars. Get out. Now." Sebastian stood up and opened the front door, where it was still a raging storm outside.

Ciel knew there was no way of getting Sebastian to remember now. It was time to accept his fate. Sebastian broke his promise. His throat sore from crying so much, he had wailed himself silent. Only tears and red puffy eyes were still evident as he slowly got up and walked towards the door. He had paused briefly at the front door, looking up at his former lover with a sad, but happy eye. "...I'm sorry. I hope you'll be happy..." He whispered quietly before stepping out into the rain and walking down the front steps.

Sebastian, only scoffing at the action, slammed the door shut and walked upstairs to his mistress. Knocking on her bedroom door, he heard a soft answer of 'enter'. Walking inside the well-decorated room, the girl, Paula, sat on her bed with pouty lips. "Sebastian...what was going on downstairs? You're late by three minutes and twelve seconds."

Paula was a girl with long, brown hair and a beautiful figure. Her face was unblemished and was quite the men magnet. She only had eyes for her butler, though. Even if she were to give her soul to him.

Sebastian chuckled, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her. "Oh, love. Counting again, are we? Must you be so eager for your end?" He said with a sad smile.

She returned the loving embrace and pulled back to hold his hand. "Yes...take my soul, Sebastian. My wish is over. My mother passed away, but she witnessed the best last moments of her life. She had passed peacefully with no regrets. So...take my soul. I am content if you are the one ending my life." She returned the smile, though it was awfully silent after that.

Sebastian couldn't help but feel something was...off. He remembered the talk he had with the Undertaker earlier in the morning when he was buying the coffin.

_"Are you buying that for your little mistress? Hehehe! Ironic that you would pick the same exact coffin that was supposed to be for little Ciel!" The Undertaker began laughing hysterically, bending over with laughter. "Hehehe! Oh, I just can't wait for tonight! I'll have the greatest laugh yet!"_

_He arched an eyebrow questioningly. "Why?"_

Sebastian was silent for a moment before leaning in. "Alright, my love...I'll make it as painless as possible." He whispered into her ear.

_"Because, hehehe! In the end, you will have nothing left!"_

"No," she interjected, "Make it as painful as possible. Etch it into my soul as proof that I was alive."

_"What do you mean? I'll have my young mistress' soul. Isn't that something?"_

* * *

Ciel was still on the manor's property, waiting for William and Grell to come. He was still in front of the manor's front doors, the rain pouring down on him. Soaking his painful memories away, the moments when Sebastian kissed someone else. Touched someone else. Made love to someone else. And now, he had lost the only thing that he had left. Sebastian. All because of a promise and a deal.

"Time is up. I see that the demon could not keep his end of the deal. That means that we'll be taking your soul then, Ciel Phantomhive. We will store your cinematic record in our library, right next to your mother's and father's. Your death will be coming shortly." William T. Spears appeared from the mist of the rain, walking up to the small, temporary demon body Ciel was currently using.

Ciel looked up with dull and empty eyes. Simply nodding as to say he had acknowledged the two reapers that were making their way towards him. The red head following close behind the brunette.

* * *

Sebastian's eyes widened as he heard the statement from his young mistress. It was oddly familiar. What was it again? Where had he heard it? He had never needed to try to remember something before!

He bowed down, a hand over his heart. "Yes, My Lady..."

_"Does a soul truly have any meaning to you anymore, dear old Sebastian? Hehe!"_

He began to slowly lean towards the girl, her eyes fluttering closed as she knew her death was coming.

* * *

"Are you ready, Ciel Phantomhive? Any last words before you go?" William asked softly, knowing that it had been a hard five years for the young boy.

Ciel looked up quietly. He opened his mouth to speak.

* * *

_"What do you mean? Souls are everything to us demons." Sebastian argued, annoyed that the man wasn't getting to the point._

Their lips touched, tongues tangled together as Sebastian closed his eyes and began to suck out the soul of the girl he loved.

* * *

"Ugh, this is boring! Let me see your blood and paint the world red!" Grell interrupted the boy, revving up the engine of the death scythe and ran straight towards Ciel head on.

* * *

_"Tonight, you will regret everything you have done in the last five years. Hehehe!" Undertaker cackled._

_"I have done nothing but good in the last five years. I will get everything I've always wanted - my young mistress and her soul. I do not regret anything." He answered smoothly._

_The Undertaker stared at the demon before cackling out again. "Hehehe! So amusing! Tonight, your biggest wish will be granted! Ciel Phantomhive will be no more!"_

The words echoed in his mind as he paused his ministrations with the girl.

And then... something snapped inside of him. Memories flashed through his mind as quickly as lightening as he heard a chainsaw rev up to life outside.

* * *

_Flashback_

_"Sebastian...Will you promise you'll remember me before five years? So we'll live together forever, for all eternity?" Ciel asked, desperation in his voice as he stared up at him. His sapphire eye gleaming with conflicted emotions about the deal._

_He kissed the top of the boy's forehead and smiled. "Of course, Ciel. No matter what, I'll remember you even if my cinematic record is cut of every moment and memory we've ever had. It's going to be alright, Ciel. No matter what happens, even if we aren't contracted, I promise you on our love that I will remember you. Take on the deal. Then we will both live happily together, for all eternity. This is for the sake of your soul."_

_The boy reluctantly nodded, and the two shared one last passionate kiss before Sebastian walked up to William. "We accept your deal. You will cut out the memories of Ciel and I out of my cinematic record and give me five years to remember and regain memories of him. If I fail, you get his soul. But if I succeed and remember him before the due date, I will keep his soul and we will be bounded by contract for eternity and be left alone."_

_The death reaper nodded. "Indeed. We are being far too generous...after all, Alois Trancy wanted his soul to be given to us. We do have his soul. Seeing how much you are both so... dedicated to each other, I am making an exception. But we shall seal his soul in that makeshift demon body of yours that you created for him (that has his brain in it) for five years. Only time will tell who gets his soul." William confirmed. "Are you ready, demon?"_

_Ciel gulped. He whispered a small and quiet, "I love you," to Sebastian before letting his hand go._

_"I love you too, my love." Sebastian nodded and stepped forward, his hand disconnecting from Ciel's. "I'm ready. Do it."_

_"Oh Bassy~! I would LOVE to see your cinematic record!" Grell roared as he jumped over the demon and slashed his death scythe over Sebastian's chest. Blood splattered all over the floor as the cinematic record appeared, memories of Ciel and mostly only Ciel appearing._

_The boy closed his eyes, shaking uncontrollably as he could not stand seeing his lover be torn apart._

_"Oooh, so many juicy memories! Time to cut them all and discard of them!" The red headed reaper exclaimed, cutting the beginning of when Ciel summoned Sebastian, to the current moment, and discarding it on the floor. Then the record withdrew, going back into Sebastian and causing the demon to fall on the ground. Ciel ran over to the male immediately, shaking the unresponsive male furiously, tears falling on Sebastian's chest. "Se-Sebastian! Wake up! Sebastian!"_

_William used his scythe to retrieve the record with the memories of Ciel off of the concrete and sighed. "Our work here is done. Ciel Phantomhive, you may stay with us until the demon regains his memories. We've given you a small power to transport to and from the human world. Come back when you're done." He said monotonously, walking off into the shadows with Grell following close behind._

_Slowly, Sebastian began regaining his conscious and saw a boy that he had never seen before shaking him. Looking down, he saw that he was weak and ruined, bloodied. He had lost a fight? "I've been defeated? By a weakling, no less? Get away from me!" He barked, his eyes turning into light violet slits. He stood and shook the boy that was clinging to him off. "I don't know who you are and how you did it," he coughed up some blood and then continued. "But I will never let you defeat me again, you hear me?!"_

_Ciel only stared, shocked, and completely hurt at those words. Sebastian would never treat him like that..._

_Sebastian had...really lost his memories..._

* * *

Ciel's eyes widened as his chest was slashed without warning.

_Slash!_

Tears burning at the corner of his eyes, he managed to choke out his last four words.

* * *

Sebastian snapped his demonic eyes opened and shoved the filthy girl off of him, making her squeak in shock and surprise. In a split second, he was standing at the front door, staring wide-eyed at the droplets of blood splattering everywhere.

And there, in the sky, laid Ciel's body as his cinematic record flew out of him.

The time when they kissed at the island of death.

The time when they made love with one another.

The time they held hands.

The time they cuddled each other, made out, passionately staring into each other's eyes.

The time when...Ciel watched as Sebastian did those same exact things to someone else. To Paula.

He watched as Ciel cried himself ts sleep alone every night. When Ciel used a knife to cut his own body and stab the pillows and walls, everything in his room as he cried out in pain, hurt, and rage._ "SEBASTIAN!_" Ciel cried out, gripping his hair and screaming into his pillow as he sobbed uncontrollably.

Sebastian watched as those records slowly began to fade and returned to the book that landed in William's hands.

His heart clenched and ached as he felt immense guilt and hurt as he ran over to catch his love's falling, bloody body with tears in his eyes. "Ciel! Ciel! Wake up, please, I'm so sorry...Ciel...I should have listened to you, my love...please. You can't die now, please, you're everything to me. You're my life, my whole, my everything...Ciel..." Sebastian buried his face into the boy's wet hair, inhaling deeply. "I'm so sorry...Ciel...I'm so sorry..." The boy's head lolled lifelessly to the side in response. He went mad and screamed into the sky. "CIEL!"

William calmly took Ciel's soul from Grell and simply walked away, transporting back to his world.

"I'm so sorry...Ciel...I shouldn't have made that deal...I didn't forget you...I kept my promise. I remembered you, yeah? See? Ciel, I remember you, so wake up, okay?" Sebastian desperately shook the cold, unresponsive body. "You must be cold, Ciel. Let's go back to the manor. You will sleep and tomorrow I'll resume my duties as the Phantomhive butler. Okay? Everything will be the same. You're not dead. You're still here with me. I never made the deal and you're still alive. Yes, that's right." The demon gathered the body in his arms and began heading back to the ruined Phantomhive manor.

Where a lifeless, rotting corpse lay dead and tucked into bed every night by a demon butler that is drowned in his guilt and past. "I love you, Ciel. Good night my love. I'm sorry, I am so, so sorry..." He kissed the top of the skeleton's forehead. And blew out the candle.

Sebastian did not lie. He fulfilled his promise. He had remembered Ciel.

But he simply remembered him when it was all too late.

* * *

Ciel managed to choke out four words before his death.

_"...Not...your...fault...Sebastian..."_

The world was stained red and he thought he saw his love, finally, embrace _him_, and not_ her_.

_What a blissful dream._

* * *

**Note: **I just wrote a romantic tragedy one shot that's over 4,000 words long? That's the most words I've ever written in one chapter.

Well, anyways, I was planning on writing a romantic SebaCiel tragedy sooner or later, so I actually just began writing and then this happened. o.o

Well. Please leave a review for this one-shot. Is it sad? Did it make you cry? Did your heart ache?

Please tell me. I'd like to know every little detail and thing you thought while reading.

Thank you for reading, have a lovely (or sad because you just read this) day.

~Kawaii Dream

P.S. Title means 'Blissful Dream'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**_: _So, I promised a sequel for this story, but really, it's not a sequel. It's just about Ciel's past and suffering without Sebastian.

Some of you wanted a happy ending.

Well...Unfortunately, this story will never have a happy ending. It seems better for it to continue being tragic. That being said, this takes place five days before Ciel's time runs out. Well...Sebastian's time runs out to remember Ciel. This is how bad Ciel was suffering before his death.

Enjoy.

* * *

_Did you know I fell in love with you,_  
_How long will it be till you notice me?_  
_Feelings grow to the point where I break down searching for hope._  
_I can see you don't think of me,_  
_Can't you realize my heart aches for you?_  
_Even though I know I'll never say these words,_  
_Where can I go?_

A sigh left Ciel's parted lips, his breath coming out as a fog. Even inside the shinigami realm, it was undeniably freezing. The death reapers barely gave him any blankets, leaving him shivering and trembling weakly under the thin sheets of his bed.

His heart was beating faintly in his chest; inside this makeshift demon body, a gift Sebastian gave him before leaving him to die alone with the reapers.

He closed his eyelids, relishing the darkness that seemed to envelope him and his environment.

But it didn't last long.

(o0o)

_"Sebastian...please don't leave me alone. I love you. I love you so much..." Ciel murmured into the older demon's ear, his voice trembling. His eyes were teary and a puffy red as he stared into crimson hues._

_The demon merely smiled and pulled the young demonling into a tight and protective embrace. "Ciel...I won't leave you. Not now, not ever. I'll be by your side whenever you wish it; just call my name and I will be right next to you in under a second. I love you to the ends of eternity."_

_This seemed to put Ciel at ease; as he buried his face into Sebastian's chest in a loving manner. "Promise...?"_

_Sebastian chuckled lightly, tracing his thumb over the demonling's cheek tenderly before whispering quietly, "Yes, my Ciel..."_

(o0o)

Tears prickled at the corners of Ciel's eyes as he whimpered at the memory. "Se-Sebastian..." He called out softly.

There was no answer.

The little light of hope that was still left inside of the young demon died right then and there. Ciel fought the urge to laugh at his own stupidity. Of course Sebastian wouldn't come for him.

He had been forgotten. Tossed away and put to the side, just like that. Sebastian no longer cared.

_Like the snow, quietly, feelings drift anxiously._  
_Give me strength to believe this dream's within my reach._  
_Hold me tight, can three simple words make it right?_  
_To grasp the truth but yet long for change here with you..._  
_I never want to feel this way..._

It was then Ciel broke.

He found a knife in a drawer next to his bed. How convenient for the death reapers to leave it there for him.

All Hell went loose.

Ciel screeched in fury, and began stabbing blindly at everything the knife came into contact with. He slashed the pillows, stabbed the walls, ripped books, destroyed the curtains and violently began to cut himself on his wrists.

He was hurt. Hurt, pained, and raged.

"**_SEBASTIAN!_**" Ciel cried out, his own blood dripping at a fast rate onto the carpet, staining it an angry crimson color. Sebastian was a_**liar**._ He had **_lied_** to him. Tears trickled down his face as he let out numerous sobs.

The room was in horrible condition; the boy just as - no, more horrible than the wrecked room.

_I love you, the tears are flowing endlessly._  
_To long for pain that can't be ignored..._  
_If that's the case then I truly don't want to know..._

Suddenly, the door to his room slammed open and Grell stomped in with a disgusted scowl on his face. "As much as I like the color red and seeing you suffer, cleaning up after a brat is just the most annoying thing ever!" The red head complained before yelling out, "WILL! THE STUPID BRAT'S DONE IT AGAIN!"

With that, William calmly strolled into the room and sighed, rubbing his temples. "If you hadn't placed the knife back into the drawer, this wouldn't have happened again for the fourth time already...honestly, we are being as kind as we possibly can to a demon and yet these filthy creatures never learn how to be polite in someone else's home. Grell Sutcliff - more overtime for you. Clean this mess up and move him to another room."

Grell was about to let out a complaint, but instead snapped his mouth shut when William's stern glare met his own. Bowing his head down, he mumbled, "Yes, Will..."

The brunette nodded before leaving the room.

Then Grell turned towards Ciel, who was still cutting away at his wrist. Groaning at the thought of overtime, he walked over to the boy and snatched the bloody knife from his hands. "Stop it, you stupid brat! Look what you did, I have overtime because of you! Again!" He growled angrily.

Ciel slowly met the reaper's eyes. Dull, empty sapphire orbs bore into surprised emerald green ones. "H-Hey, kid...are you...okay?" The male reaper asked awkwardly, sensing that something wasn't right with the brat for once.

He didn't answer. He knew one thing: Sebastian was never coming back for him. Never. He was fading out of his life. Just as quick as a candle being blown out in less than a second.

No, not only that.

Ciel was being replaced. By Paula. He was easy to replace as well, wasn't he? It stung. Like shards of glass were striking right though his body, one by one...until one made it through his heart.

_I wonder what path will I face,_  
_How long will the sensation have to wait?_  
_A sigh clouds the clear glass window,_  
_You fade away._  
_To sway my weak heart, I will light your candle._  
_Right now there no longer is a love like yours holding me._

Yet he couldn't stop loving Sebastian. He couldn't stop craving the other's touch, when he had held his hand and whispered sweet nothings into his ear. When Sebastian made love to him so passionately...he didn't want to forget.

But Sebastian had forgotten it all. He suddenly broke out into another round of sobs and tears. "No..._NO. SEBASTIAN_! _SEBASTIAN!_"

Grell was fed up with his struggling and pulled the demon up on his feet before taking a long rope and tied him to the bedpost, as well as his arms, hands, legs, feet, and he also added a gag to shut the brat up.

Any normal demon would be able to break the ropes easily, but Ciel was far from normal. It wasn't his true body, ao his strength was limited. And his emotional state was completely broken. Inside and out, both physically and mentally, the demonling was broken to pieces.

Then, the reaper began to repair the room (destroy it further) before picking Ciel's body up and carried him to another bedroom, the demon's blood staining the already crimson clothes of Grell.

Yet, Grell knew he had to say something to help the boy. There was only five more days before Ciel's time ran out, after all. So, feeling amazingly generous, he sighed. "Listen kid. Don't give up your hope. There's still time left, so instead of sitting here, sulking and trying to kill yourself, why don't you do something useful and actually use your time wisely." Grumbled the red head.

Then he threw the bounded demon into his room and untied him before leaving him alone to his own thoughts.

Ciel shivered and trembled on the floor. It was still freezing. He felt numb. His body felt numb. Just like his heart.

Sebastian was probably making love to Paula as he sat there uselessly on the ground.

Grell was right. He still had time. He had time to make Sebastian remember him - albeit the time being limited.

He would make Sebastian remember their times together...yes! Sebastian had promised to remember him.

_I miss you, there's been a thousand times I've thought of you._  
_These feelings that I bury within my heart,_  
_My crying soul wants to hold you close tonight._

Except Sebastian was a liar.

Tears kept flowing, dripping onto his bloody white shirt.

No one wanted him...

He was alone...

Not even Sebastian wanted anything to do with him...

He was broken...

Ciel stood up, legs shaky. He wiped his tears away with his blood stained hands and sniffled.

He realized no one wanted him anymore.

First forgotten, then lied to, then replaced.

A smile crept from the corners of his lips before he opened his mouth and cackled maniacally, bubbles of excitement running through his veins.

He was junk! He was trash! Whatever he did, Sebastian would never come back to him!

_It's clear to me there's so much that your heart just doesn't see._  
_A life without hearing you just can't be true._  
_I want to be with you._

His laughter soon became more sobs, and he was lying on his new bed now, a crying mess.

He wanted to see Sebastian. Sebastian did not want to see him. Sebastian did not believe him anymore.

_Hold me tight, can three simple words make it right?_  
_To grasp the truth but yet long for change here with you._  
_I never want to feel this way..._  
_I love you, can't you see these feelings are true?_

Ciel laid on the hard mattress, the cold making its way to his bones. But he didn't care anymore.

He closed his eyes.

_Though we're far apart you'll remain in my heart,_  
_Eternally I am buried under the snow._  
_Hold me tight..._

He dreamt of white; the freezing snow burying him, concealing him from the world.

That's good.

Sebastian will never see me now. His wish has come true.

The smallest crack of a smile appeared on Ciel's face.

If he is happy; I am happy. That is all I wish for. If my passing makes him satisfied; I will disappear for him.

_I love you..._

Forever...

* * *

**~*~Eternal~*~Snow~*~** By _Chagin' My Life, from the anime Full Moon wa Sagashite_

Did you know I fell in love with you,  
How long will it be till you notice me?  
Feelings grow to the point where I break down searching for hope.  
I can see you don't think of me,  
Can't you realize my heart aches for you?  
Even though I know I'll never say these words,  
Where can I go?

Like the snow, quietly, feelings drift anxiously.  
Give me strength to believe this dream's within my reach.  
Hold me tight, can three simple words make it right?  
To grasp the truth but yet long for change here with you.  
I never want to feel this way...

I love you, the tears are flowing endlessly.  
To long for pain that can't be ignored.  
If that's the case then I truly don't want to know...

I wonder what path will I face,  
How long will the sensation have to wait?  
A sigh clouds the clear glass window,  
You fade away.  
To sway my weak heart, I will light your candle.  
Right now there no longer is a love like yours holding me.

Hold me tight, I can't let these bounds steal your dreams.  
Your spirit goes after the cold wind in the snow storm.  
Your fate has broken our bond.

I miss you, there's been a thousand times I've thought of you.  
These feelings that I bury within my heart,  
My crying soul wants to hold you close tonight.

It's clear to me there's so much that your heart just doesn't see.

A life without hearing you just can't be true.

I want to be with you.

Hold me tight, can three simple words make it right?  
To grasp the truth but yet long for change here with you.  
I never want to feel this way...

I love you, can't you see these feelings are true?

Though we're far apart you'll remain in my heart,  
Eternally I am buried under the snow.

Hold me tight...

I love you...

* * *

**Author's Note**: Thank you for going on this roller coaster of emotions, angst, pain, sadness, etc. with me. I'm glad my story was moving enough for many to shed tears - which was my intention when writing this story. I hope you cried just as much as I did while writing Ciel's past. It pains me to see him like this...but it must be done.

This chapter is the scene that leads up to Ciel's death. I also don't own the song that was used in this chapter, I just used it because it really fit what Ciel was feeling. It fit the vibe of this story. I do recommend you all to listen to it. There's a Japanese and English version of the song, I used the English because it was more convenient for me. Anyhow; if you have any questions, requests, or anything of the sort, review or PM me about it and I'll get right to you.

Reviews of how this chapter affected you would be appreciated. Did I make you cry...again?

If I did...my apologies. Romantic tragedies are my forte'. I can't write happy-story one-shots for the heck of it. D: I just can't write happiness...at least, good, happy, overwhelming happiness. Sooo...yeah. I'm working on Rightfully Yours and Dream-Eating Monochrome Baku at the moment; and it seems like Dream-Eating Monochrome Baku is going to be updated soon! Sadly it's not as good as I hoped it would be. Anyhow, sorry for rambling on and on like this and again, reviews are **highly** appreciated. :)

~Kawaii Dream


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